I can t communicate with my partner reddit. Any advice or kind words appreciated.

I can t communicate with my partner reddit Plus, there's the quincunx factor - aqua mind and cancer moon isn't easy. Unfortunately, if he refuses to work on bettering this, you have a big problem. He does this all the time with plans and it frustrates me. If not, it would be good to just go by yourself and the therapist can offer other ways to communicate with your husband. Absolute honesty. But just like the other commenters, my “I miss you”s mean just a little bit more when I’m away for work than my “I miss you”s when they’re away. Growing up my mum was always angry, and I made the conscious decision to never be like her, but now I don't know how to effectively communicate when I am mad/upset with someone without fearing they will secretly harbour deep feelings of hate towards me. We fight over the littlest things, especially when it comes to the baby. I need advice on how we can effectively talk to each other better. Sometimes I am your husband in this scenario. If you want a partner to do something talk to them about it. I resisted conflict, I couldn't handle criticism, I didn't want to communicate, I got easily overwhelmed with emotions and gave my partners attitude. We’ve even created a special tool designed to use when you can’t talk without arguing with your partner complete with a step by step guide and helpful phrases to use when applying it. I'm almost certain he isn't. Admiration for each other and your accomplishments, small and big. If you have any questions or would like to share your tips or story, let me know in the comments section Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Click here to check out Rebuild Your Relationship. It can be really great to share emotions with your partner, but it can backfire horribly if not done to within your partner's specific threshold of emotion they are willing to deal with in their man. I 100% agree! If I don't take a break/ time-out during a tense argument with my boyfriend, I cry (I am so sensitive). So I Don't try to cover for me, and don't start talking until I can give you at least a small answer. (Usually because I'm busy working or I'm asleep so he can't show me right now. He's included in my inner circle and the folks in that group support me on different issues. Any advice or kind words appreciated. In my relationship, we have some rules like no insults or name calling. It stopped when I had a total meltdown at 21 because I thought I was crazy and my mom didn't realize that literal years of invalidating my emotions can cause a lot of issues. He is refusing to do the bare minimum for a relationship: communicate with your partner. I don't know if expecting him to stop is too much. I love them dearly; however, for the past year Ive noticed that I don’t find them sexually attractive. Our (my wife and I) view of marriage is that everything is a "we" problem. Although it can be hard for him just dont push him cause that can cause distrust. Your suns and mercurys are all quincunx by sign. However, we try to avoid burdening one another with them. ” My body tenses up, thus eliminating any space for the warmth and empathy that my partner craves from me. I really love and appreciate my partner but at the same time when it happened I My favorite tip I got from this board and is to try and use 'I' as often as possible, and not 'You'. He didn't like me going away for 15-20 mins to cool off. Married over 30 years and our There's a technique my husband and I learnt when we did a marriage course when we first got married which was designed to improve communication. Simply, it involves the person who is doing the listening (in this case your husband) to ask 4 questions. Watch over the course of three weeks and see if my answers become more elaborate, and if I can share more. My partner cannot seem to communicate. I just don't know what to do. in my case, we communicate in english and i'm learning his language because i also want to move to his country. My opinions, my favorite things, and anything I can think of are overlooked. He has admitted in the past that once the conversation was done, that it wasn't that bad. My partner (34M) has poor communication skills when it comes to disagreements or serious topics, which he acknowledges, is frustrated with and says he wants to change. They like independence so much and find it hard to break down those walls. She didn't communicate what she wanted to do, she always did what I did and thought if she suggested something I would shut it down. See a therapist - and maybe your SO could see one too. This is a support group for those who share their lives with an ADHD partner. These happen with little to no warning other than prior anxiety which I usually have so I can’t tell the difference. It comes Anyone who says, "I can't live without you, if you leave me I will kill myself," is likely not in a state where they can even be a partner to you. It's a good way to avoid accusations and words that will put your partner on the defensive. Over that time we have had ups and downs but my love for him grows every day. See if you can talk about it. I tried to express my concerns to my parents but they told me it's in my head and to get over it. Things are fine when we are just hanging out but just the fact that we don't communicate is always in the back of my mind. I’ve literally given up trying to even speak to my partner as everything I say leads to her losing her cool, blaming me for losing my cool first which is false, then her picking apart everything I say to avoid talking about what I bought up I the first place. He's a straight male, I'm a straight female, and we are in a long term relationship of 2 years (next weekend is our 2 year anni!). You both need to be able to say "I can't handle helping you right now, please turn to someone You can't make anyone change; you can only control how you react to his responses. I can’t stand his energy. I think it's important for your partner to respect your time-out when things get emotional/heated because it also has to do with your mental health. You can't expect him to end things for you, you need to decide for yourself what sort of relationship you want to be in. My new partner communicates with me about her feelings, she doesn't judge me or put me down when I'm emotional, she's open to hearing my opinions and welcomes any communication You are not overly emotional. I am ALREADY of lower social value than them and need to say something good in order to make up the difference. . day after day i would just sit in bed thinking about how awful of a person i was, and i cried to my partner that i felt I don’t think you need to talk everyday depending on what both people are comfortable with. TLDR: Can't seem to break beneath the surface in conversation and connection with my partner, even though I'm trying. My boyfriend was always this way; my issue here isn't whether I should change him (I can't), but whether I can live with his personality type for the rest of my life. Or check it out in the app stores   Now to flip my personal examples in a way that relates to communication in my relationship. If the conversation doesn't continue, "Agree to disagree" is just shorthand for "shut the fuck up" and it's not helpful that way. That reminds me of this book called Love Languages. I sort of feel I might be more like your partner and my partner might be more like you. There's only so much you can do when your partner isn't in treatment also. I can see he tried so hard to cure me, although that's not his duty. Communication really is key here, so if you haven't yet try to communicate and understand what space means for you and your partner. For my own sanity, I know once I work more hours, I will be hiring someone to come in and BUT my partners and yours sounds avoidant. I also have anxiety, and not being able to sort out issues openly with my partner is exasperating my anxiety. If you don't then that will summarily make a decision - and you're allowed to You can not care about the relationship enough for both of you to make it work. However, I'm somewhat afraid to communicate my need for reassurance to her. My current partner has a lot of traits in line with myself and I’ve never felt more supported in a relationship. As this is your first day on Reddit, your comment has been removed to give you time to get a feel of the place. I don’t think your partner is doing it on purpose or is trying to ignore you,I think he might’ve just forgotten. I have struggled with mental health problems since my early teens due to my upbringing and consequently have always been in and out of mental health facilities and under the care of therapists and/or doctors. It might be helpful to reflect on your own needs, interests, and personal growth. And what a luck my mental health is actually going better. TLDR: I am struggling to understand how my partner and I can communicate If your partner shuts down and ignores you, you may feel stuck what to do next. I want you to do z instead. This is why I call my boyfriend my partner. He’s usually so kind, attentive, helpful. Open communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns can also contribute to a better understanding between both of you. I love him. I would keep my mouth shut until I had worked out a way to express my position that was calm, kind, and productive. I can't remember them half the time, it's like my brain hates me. In verbal conversation people tend to cut each other off and get defensive, which causes an argument to get more heated. A healthy communication pattern looks like this: "Husband, I have x problem when you do y. Tldr: My boyfriend says I'm unsupportive - is he asking too much when he wants me to ask specific questions or am I just emotionally unsupportive? I had a repeated traumatic conversation about how I'm too sensitive and I need to "make sure" that I'm feeling what I'm feeling. I can sometimes communicate with my father, but the same phenomenon is also present in him, it's just that sometimes he is able to have normal conversations. Our baby is 5 months old, and since we’ve had him I’ve been so unattracted to my husband. He never even considered whether it was true or not. She finally felt good about herself. Hey the not responding or texting back is pretty common for people with adhd. If you don’t like something, communicate that. i realized that my depression was so out of hand that nothing i did felt right, every decision i made was wrong and i just wanted to give up. she would tell me If he walks away, say "don't walk away from me. I'm guessing you're young. Maybe a shit day at work or whatever. I have little value as a person if I don't say Navigating a relationship when both partners are dealing with mental health difficulties can be challenging, but my partner and I have discovered that empathy, patience, and mutual support are essential ingredients for our journey. So asking if he is okay and how he is feeling is a good thing. It's meant to be a way for two people to move ahead in a conversation while disagreeing on a contentious point. I'm beginning to feel alone in the relationship, longing for a deeper connection. We need to be able to discuss things together, and if we can't, that is a serious problem between us. I've stopped trying to communicate because of what I noted. I try to buy my partner stuff when they're unhappy but sometimes I just absolutely cannot remember what they like or what they've been craving recently. My family doesn't like him either. He never shows me any emotions, he always talks very calmly and almost monotone. I never felt better than when I got out and got back to loving myself for who I was. I’m actually not the adhd partner, but I am the partner who refused to deal with my nervous breakdown and treated my partner as my emotional support animal. I am hoping that with time I can start feeling more secure with him, but I am not deluded that I will feel 100% emotional security with him ever. You want to do stuff with her, but you cannot become codependent. No, you can't make him speak to you, but the only way to move forward is to get him to understand that communication is the only way to find a solution. When she speaks, I catch myself zoning out or my attention wandering without actively meaning to and as a result of my inattention, she has begun to treat me like I may be an idiot (Speaking loudly, slowly, and with a decent bit of force to her tone) and being quick to snap at What are some different ways I can communicate with my partner without getting into an argument? It seems most of the time i walk on eggshells around my boyfriend. However I feel pretty bad about it and do as much as I possibly can to make my partner feel nice. Also, you came to reddit for advice. As uncomfortable as it was especially on his side. There’s nothing wrong with By clearly illustrating how your partner’s poor communication has affected you, you can help them better understand your perspective and encourage them to make a positive change. You can't make him want something he doesn't seem to want. " It’s due to emotional overload. So my partner (33m) and I (27f) have been together for a little less than a year and live in different states. I can't tell him anything and I want to leave. They are kind, smart, supportive, and have helped me grow as a person. So, I’ve been dating this guy for few months. Expand user menu Open settings cannot communicate with most of my partner’s (27M) family . Assume your partner did whatever stupid ass thing they did, with good intentions. We have a house together. My partner has major depressive disorder. It builds trust. communication over phone is often tough as hell (less for this generation but, truly, who wants to be in a relationship w their phone?). ) He sometimes when he has extra money, he gets me a little something extra when we have food delivered. i asked her many times if something is wrong and if she needs help and support in anything , and that she can count on me and she knows it . Is there some way I can change either my outlook on I know that my insecurities are my problems and that they're because of my bad relationship with myself, that's why I haven't told a thing when i feel insecure, because almost all the time it's not something that it's rational or makes sense( feeling insecure because he has female friend's, for his past sexual experience's, or because he acted like a couple with his ex when they we're I guess I'm a bit lost and confused - I don't exhibit any unsupportive partner traits, and I'm not sure if I'm missing something or if he is asking too much that I cannot give. Follow those phrases I mentioned and change them to suit any given situation. This happened today in the shops, racing heart, dizzy and the scariest thing that happens to me is my hands cramp up like they’re closed and I can’t open them. recently, my girlfriend (21F) made me (19M) angry with something and it made me mad and upset about it. So I (f21) have been with my bf (m21) for a little over 2 years now, and it just feels like recently I can’t seem to stay happy 100% of the time when im with him. While I do turn to my partner to comfort me often (and he's *very* good at it since empathy is one of his superpowers), I also rely on a close circle of 3-4 friends that I talk to nearly daily. And because of my PTSD and trauma with men, my anxiety is up so high right now it’s crazy. He gave me this as the main reason, that he can't look at me the same way after all that happened and that he fell out But an aqua may just not process them like you do, so is never going to communicate them the way you might. You don't have to completely abandon them, but what that person needs is a friend and some serious professional help. Just because he's my partner doesn't mean I rely mainly on him. ) Because I sincerely doubt you want your husband and your friend lusting after each other. It was when I was 17-22, then I realized it's not gonna go away until I go to therapy. I can't communicate with my parents . It's us against the problem, no matter what it is. My last relationship ended because I communicated my feelings and my ex ended things immediately. That's rough, since you know he was capable in the past, and 5 years is a long time. But I’m still struggling with that. How can I understand why she keeps saying that, when she does want children but also doesn't want to carry our child? I'm struggling so hard living with my partner right now, to the point where I'm anxious that he'll talk to me! Neither of us work at the moment so he's constantly home, and it's winter so I can't spend time hiking as I normally do, and it's taking a massive toll on my mental health. End of the day, one might have to accept your partner is not as clean as you and you'll have to clean more whereas he can do more of something else. YouTube and Amazon are a different story though, there is so much stupid shit to watch and so much you can learn, even if it's useless. I don't want to go to my parents because I don't want them to know the severity of what happened and my best friend has her husband and 2 kids and I don't want to be in the way, even though I My (27F) wife (27F) said she doesn't want me becoming pregnant through IVF because she doesn't want 'a man's cum in me' and I'm really confused. Some things can change: messiness, some attitudes, communication skills, even some money matters over time, but not a lot of behaviors will change. When I eat something, he asks why i couldn’t of made him anything calling me rude etc. Have the conversation, and do right by yourself. We avoid the hell out of it. my own father who I live with didn't even know I switched jobs almost 2 months ago. My partner reciprocates this. My partner respects the fact I'm an introvert and need time to My partner and I have been together for 5 years and they’ve been the best partner I could’ve ever asked for. It came to a head when we had an epic trip planned, and about a month before it, he told me he couldn’t deal with it anymore and if I didn’t start therapy he wasn’t going with me. I think I can't risk that but I don't want to force him Help keep the sub engaging! You must have multiple sources of support. Back story is we used to be together a couple years back and then he left his then fiancé to be with me when he “found me again”. For info- I haven't been a good partner at the beginning of the relationship. I didn't knew that was an issue and thought that was long in the past. obviously, he's learned some basic words for fun and i'm sure he could learn some tl;dr: My partner and I struggle with communicating and end up in triggering arguments. This is how my marriage is. Unfortunately, when something of this sort surfaces, we both get very anxious and slip into destructive patterns, which are eerily symmetrical - he becomes aloof and grumpy at first, then he gets lost, demanding and clingy. i have problems with my anger issues and my emotions in general. i hate technology and hate this generation, kids my age can’t even communicate w/o a tl;dr: my husband and I have communication issues. Sometimes it’s not until he’s totally broken and dejected that I can snap out of my own bubble. I try to do things that they like but without any input I'm basically useless. I'm saying this very specific thing about this very specific situation. But yeah if Instead, upon hearing my partner’s feelings, I feel “attacked. My husband (26m) and I (28f) have been married for six years. I tell her “honey, I can’t read your mind, if you want me to help you need to tell me what’s wrong” and she just responds with “well I can’t read my mind either” and that statement just gets me really fucking annoyed and angry. It either takes for ever or says "Can't Communicate With Server". She didn't say what she wanted in bed. Before I was with my partner it was just ruthless the amount of times I would hear “you never listen to me,” “why do you always have to be right,” or partners who didn’t understand my habitual traits like skin picking. I know I can get through to him if I can just get him to talk about it. We have definitely had ups and downs, but overall we love each other very much. I won't have that from anyone if I always respond emotionally to things negatively. " A couple's counselor can help teach you both to communicate better, but you have to both want to do it. I have clinical depression myself and around the time we were dating I was at my lowest. I also like to text sometimes I’m not good at I’m feeling a bit lost in my relationship and could really use some advice. I just tell them, "Hey, I need alone time. I still have snapchat, and reddit but I dont go on those much. But we can’t live like this. Can anyone help please, I am sick of being walked over and always playing the victim role. For example, I can never remember anything to do with the bins. It makes me fearful to say the wrong thing because I don’t know how to convey the intensity of what I’m feeling without hurting my partner because I’m hurt. If he doesn't want to change, you can't make him talk. and whenever I'm mad, i yelled to those people and hurt them with mean words, who are just trying to calm me down or talk to me, and I'm trying my best to not get my girlfriend hurt when im trying to Sometimes it turns into a full blown panic attack. So when this happened he said "so you're saying that I don't communicate my emotions even though my family told me for my whole life that I communicate too much about my emotions". They love you, they wouldn’t hurt you on purpose, so try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I tried to observe and communicate to fix the problem of my relationship was for 8 years , we never fought before until we had 1 silly argument that spiraled everything downhill , she held on a grudge for the last year of our relationship slowly detaching , and avoiding me . Loving someone doesn't make up for shitty communication. I know that if I spoke calmly the conversation might go better. I've nicked name phone time as he is autistic and gives him a clear indication that it'll come to and end and he focus on the next step. ) I started backing away. (2) It annoys and bothers my husband, he thinks I'll ultimately destroy my relationship with her and he believes me anyway so I should stop. Love you" and then proceed to play Stardew Valley or watch a show I know they don't like. This is a known issue and they've made it know that they do not like if if I "hold grudges" or "keep score". From difficulties in self expression to the fear of starting arguments and hidden resentments, various reasons can become a roadblock to effective communication with your partner. The thing about wanting your husband to flirt with your friend strikes me as you looking to shake things up in your relationship - maybe wanting to feel jealous/the fear of losing something? (Probably a bad word choice, sorry. He sees that and ask if I'm ok, as I feel obligated I say "yes", nothing more or less, and he continues but my body is saying no. Trust me when I say that if you can't have an open conversation with your partner about things that are going on in the relationship, things aren't going to get better. The stuff I can't do, he will do. I think I have a fairly good communication skill when arguing with others who don't use that kind of tactic. Then he gets mad, I get defensive, and it turns into a big fight where we basically can't get anywhere because we are both too upset and our behaviors when we are upset are triggering to the If I don't say something good, I won't have as much social value as the other people here. In a few days, I am about to go to high school, and I want to make the most of it. I’m trying to encourage couple’s counseling, just to get some guidance on ways to communicate better. yah , i was literally the most out going person and now i get an anxiety attack everytime i have to talk to a stranger. Looking back I realize maybe I should’ve just left it alone when he said he didn’t want to talk but in my mind he said he would try to communicate next It helps me feel more safe and secure in my relationship and helps me remember that my partner cherishes and loves me, even if they or I need some space and time alone. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. if she asks something i’ll answer her, i don’t want to look like an asshole. I leaned into it with caution. It’s hard for me to communicate my needs and i just assume he should read my mind. Your partner must have several sources of support as well. i don't think both partners necessarily need to learn each other's native language. Practicing this kind of communication might help both you, in terms of trusting that even if you can’t read your partner, you still know how they’re doing and that a blank face isn’t a sign of a problem, your partner, in letting them drop them drop the mask more and have to rely on their social skills knowledge to communicate with you TLDR: I am struggling to understand how my partner and I can communicate effectively My (F31) and my partner (M29) have been together for seven years. He is an amazing man and I am so grateful for his love, support, patience, and kindness. That's important to me even in friendships, but it's also necessary for me to become/stay sexually attracted to someone. It also impacts our weekends, as he is tired all day and sleeps for most of it. He asked about a lot of details of what happened and I told him about it. Love them for who they are and make sure to get that in return. The book sounds interesting. Either I address my concerns with my partner or I keep quiet. How do I communicate to my partner that he is being rude to me in front of other people? TL;DR- Life partner does not know how to behave in a relationship Final Update- I sat down with my life partner & discussed this issue. Autism can change how you communicate (in that you don’t communicate like a neurotypical person), yes, but it will never be an excuse for abuse. His anxiety of needing to have a conversation always takes over. I just don’t understand what I did wrong to get the snarky stinging response. I don't know where I would go other than to my best friend's or my parents. I mean like i want to feel bad but at the same time why should I blame him he honestly made the correct decision. Im sorry that person has so little going on in their lives they didnt comment on my original post, but used to "stalk" me, read another post, and comment about my relationship as though my gf doesnt agree 100% with me about my thoughts on gun ownership and justifiable defense. The difference in her self esteem was palpable. The important thing about all of this is: YOU CAN'T CHANGE A PERSON'S BASIC CHARACTER. Neither of them know I started medication for adhd. They Rely Solely On Texting To Communicate. Tragic. Don't make my mistakes. I wish he could pay attention to my body language, when I'm uncomfortable I don't make any sound, tense up and have a weird vibe. I have severe OCD and my husband also can’t clean, do laundry etc in our house. I had to accept that the way I was acting was hurtful even if I it wasn’t directed at my partner. If he's actively working on fixing whatever has caused him to change, or at least acknowledges that he's lost his way, I'd give it a chance, but if he doesn't seem to want to get back on track and doesn't care/realize that it's hurting you, it may be time to let go before investing more time and energy The first 2 months of my partner coming out were really emotionally taxing for us both. You don’t want these early stages of a relationship to go south because you can’t communicate with your partner, you want to adopt a sense of honesty. I've seen progress on some, not on others. Whether it's long-standing baggage, Members Online • velayster . I can’t live without sex. It also prevents me from saying things I can’t take back. however when i was in love with him, i realized something not right about him. If you rely only on each other you will both burn out. I cried my eyes out more times than I can count. We're looking for some practical advice on how we can improve his communication skills, please. I have PTSD as I was raped and a lot of the time sex gives me images of what happened. but just won't resolve. You guys need to find a new way to disagree. Be interested in your partner’s likes and try to get involved. We can't have both our goals simultaneously unfortunately, it wouldn't work and I'm not open to trying unless he is open to being more open to traveling and long distance. My partner opened up emotionally. I'm also aware that I can't communicate for shit with my partner when we are in a disagreement. it takes a lot of understanding and figuring out what My partner and I were the same at the start of the relationship in a way. Pouring my hoodie over my head and completely covering my face seems to be the ONE signal I can do that doesn't also trigger her. Alongside that however, I wonder how much emotional support you can expect from a partner and what that might look like in various relationships? I have a great support network of friends and family, so my partner won't ever be my only source of emotional support, but I do hope that they would be a primary support where they can. Basically, the idea is to make sure you fully listen to each other. Communication ability and struggle varies from person to person and also depend on their experience. I know that I have to improve and not to cross the line and start saying stuff I don't mean, but right now I feel stuck not knowing how to. In my opinion, autistic people communicate with greater clarity in general than I have seen in non autistics. You can try speaking with a therapist; hopefully he can try and go with you. This has been am ongoing problem with my spouse(25F) and I (24M) for about six months or so now. My wife, sitting right beside me on her laptop, has no issues. Doesn’t make it right to take it out on a partner, but it happens. I have also lived with my partner for 6 years. I completely trust my current partner (24M) with my life but I almost always shut down when we disagree. I was short tempered last week due to shit job and was not pleasant to be around. We are both open with each other about our conditions. You have to be willing to do it. That is not a loving thing to say, it's a scary threat - leave. My partner has a tag on his tumblr for me. We’ve been together for a year. He puts stuff he thinks I'd find interesting for me to find later. If he can’t keep you in the loop and if you both can’t come to a compromise on how you communicate on life plans over something minor like a ski trip, bigger more serious issues are going to only be harder. We have been in couples counseling twice: once after a major depressive episode that was exacerbated/extended by severe overmedication, when I It might just be that your communication styles and needs are too different. On one hand, if I keep quiet, I kind of internalize it and begin to resent my partner. This tenseness/withdrawal can last for hours or days. I get a lump in my throat when I want to communicate my needs which makes it hard to get the words out. And I'm not saying that. We aim to help validate, educate and encourage one another as we navigate the challenges that come with an ADHD-impacted relationship. A specific dessert or an extra tub of gravy, that My marriage lasted 17 years until my wife passed away. In my marriage to my husband, I am the one who needs space following a disagreement/argument while my husband wants to talk it out ASAP. The best way I can describe it is like my hard drive is fried. I kept pushing because I just felt really upset and I wanted him to try to communicate with me. my first relationship was also a ldr and honestly- it’s tough as hell. I totally shut down and truly struggle to process my thoughts and emotions. My ex and my parents weren’t even allowed to open blinds or I’d have a panic attack. That's not easy. I want to be in contact with my partner everyday. I can't keep going out with someone who has so little respect for me that they can't send a message for 9 hours just telling me where they are. Also, I don't know if it's related. i realized that if someone doesn’t give you love, support and they don’t appreciate you, why bother. That's what I'm pondering. So my ex didn't tell me something was still bothering him for almost a year after it ended (not BU). We barely talk anymore, I am exhausted when he comes home from work and by the time we have dinner and I get the baby to sleep I’m sleeping too. I can't communicate well I don't know if it was my childhood or the quarantine that made me like this but I had and still have a difficult time talking to people. So idk. It took several more conversations about it over the next few months to start being more aware of my reaction and learning healthy ways to manage my anger. I’m like you now and don’t feel different with my partner (temporarily) away. I call him my partner in both public and private social circles so anyone who is not straight or cis doesn't feel exposed when they talk about their partners. my subreddits. Many things came to light. I was even mean to our dog, the greatest dog ever. I'd read up on healthy ways to disagree. Here you can ask TLDR: my ADHD bf has issues with keeping his focus on me, and I’m struggling with communicating my feelings and needs to him before it’s too late. I’ve also found that I communicate with my partner much better through text, which sounds immature, but it’s the only way I feel heard. thank you man, and wish you best of luck Being open about them doesn’t mean shouldering your partner with responsibility for them. I, (F18) have never had a good relationship with my parents. This is whats important. It’s something I still can’t forgive them for, but (1) I implicate my husband in all the conversations with my MIL, I seek him out and force him to listen because she's a liar. My partner came inside me tonight. Sometimes relationships don't work out, but if they are held onto, people can become ugly and resentful. She was smiling more than she ever had. I am someone who needs alone time in my life. " "I'm sorry Wife, I will do my best to do z instead. I won’t stay with a partner who regularly fails to communicate where they are when we have plans to get together or I’m expecting them. Be you as you expect them to be themselves. You can't change it alone and you don't want a partner that refuses to better your communication. If you’re late, communicate that. It's just hot to me, I can't help it. Learn how to communicate with a man that just will not talk. Good luck xx. Oh look, everyone was right! After a perceived breakthrough last night, I woke up today to her dumping me for cheating because my abusive ex girlfriend (whom I've had no contact with since I met Emma back in May) had texted me out of nowhere. That's his choice. But if he's making no effort to change despite knowing how you feel, your options become a) live like this forever, or b) leave. my native language would be really difficult for him to learn, and i don't see why he would need to do that. I also want to try and open up with him about what I feel I need from 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. " If he says "I don't see an issue so it's not my problem," say "That's not how marriage works. I think the root problem is that my brain freezes up. I used to be emotionally co-dependent but learned to grow out of it and I’m thankful. so, i’m not that worried anymore, yeah it sucks, but thing will get better,you can find someone better than them. The difference now is my partner knows. I explained to him that I need time to calm down because I can't have a productive conversation when my emotions are running high. For example, he had two trips planned over the holiday break, and I didn't know about them until the very last minute - one of them, the morning of. So you pay attention. However, I am on meds and in therapy and I’m a LOT better than I was. That would hurt. It's used like that by people who don't know how to communicate. one morning, i woke up next to my ever so loving and compassionate partner, bawling. My (25F) partner (25M) really struggles to communicate his emotions with me. Posted by u/ThrowRABritish - 2 votes and 4 comments I think the only thing you need to learn is how much this can hurt your partner if you don’t try. At first I thought he'd start to miss me and then initiate time together. She wouldn't listen to me when I said that I can't control who texts me and that I hadn't been in contact. And you decide if what you see/feel/hear presents any deal breakers. When my partner first talked to me about my anger, I got very defensive. It's not that I don't have anything to say, because I do (chatterbox here), I'm more than often unable to express myself in a manner that is coherent. Me (18F) and my bf (20M) have been together for almost 3 months now and the relationship has been good, but I want to have a stronger communication and connection with him. I have ADHD. you didn't give degrees on your placements, so i don't know if any actual aspects happen. Click here to check out Rebuild Your My partner and I struggle with communication and I want to find ways to be a more supportive and loving partner. I didn’t confess straight into the conversation. I'm now 21 years old and I still can't talk to my parents because they don't take me seriously. Lean on friends and family when you can. So he does it. If your partner isn't sure what would help or hinder, maybe sit down together at some point to try to figure it out. Regularly stonewalls me or refuses to work through problems or makes me feel nervous or uncomfortable about being able to talk to them. From my experience in my relationship it has been hard to communicate my thoughts about my gf to her cause i don't want her mad but i am happy when she asks for my input cause i will try to provide it. Both me (32F) and my partner of 7 years (29M) don't do well with conflict. yeah, i ain’t going to start conversation with her. That is SUCH a bad sign, I cannot even tell you. edit subscriptions. My partner and I play this little game sometimes when he touches the spots that he knows are my erogenous zones, and I try to resist giving in ;) to how good it feels for as long as I can. I feel like I can’t think straight right now 😩 Tl:dr My partner sometimes belittles and guilt trips me, and invalidates my feelings. They feel it I just don't know what to do. I know that I have insecurities so I'm trying not to overreact but something needs to change or I'm gonna start seeing it as a sign of impending rejection and deactivate. In my past romantic and platonic relationships, when I opened up it would get turned against me somehow and/or they would gossip to other people about my business. Wow, how petty. He is saying he doesn’t feel understood and you say you are really straightforward. If they habitually ignore, undermine, and don't respect me enough to actually communicate, they would not be my partner in very short order. I have been in relationships where my partner didn’t communicate with me daily though, and personally I was not happy with it. If your partner gets diagnosed and receives DBT they can use DBT tools to help. But he can't I can understand now why she left, who wants to be with someone who doesn't talk? BUT she didn't want to communicate very well either. The idea that autistic people can’t communicate well is a stereotype. At the end of the day, I want my partner knowing he is loved and respected, and I expect the same from him. I've cleared cache, erased all cookies etc. This is my relationship only we can’t communicate about anything at all. I really love my partner but every time we disagree I tend to shut down. He never brought it up, even when we were in therapy. When my ex started doing the same thing (canceling our time together, making excuses to not come over, etc. I also can’t relax and am doing something all the time. Sometimes cultural norms about communication also influence it. I have had secure relationships in the past, so my attachment style can change, but with my current partner it is very anxious, though lately it has been somewhat better. But things did get better. Since I moved across country for school and started dating my partner, who is from the area, I have begun to spend more time with his family—birthdays He doesn't communicate with me about things that I think any sane person would communicate to their partner. He has a pretty emotionally and affectionallg neglectful childhood. I feel alone. And if I voice my own needs and wants, he always just says something along the lines of "I'm doing my best but it apparently isnt good enough" Even though he's not even trying, or hes breadcrumbing. The thing is I can't handle his depression. He thinks he has clearly communicated a boundary with me and I misunderstand him or don't recognize the boundary as such. And in doing so, I feel ignored and that my life doesn’t matter to him. Just have a talk with her, you should be happy :) My partner can usually communicate when it comes to us if I’m the one starting the conversation for an issue but he has an extremely hard time talking about things he’s dealing with on his own. I am confident that they can, and I will. You can't help someone who won't help herself. I can't have it any other way and thankfully I found someone who feels the same. I cannot even communicate with my mother at all, the phenomenon I'm about to describe has just gotten so bad in her case that communication is not possible. Unfortunately, men tend to only find out that they went past that threshold too late and the damage is done. I tend to do this a lot,I tend to take way longer than the average person to respond to someone bc I either forget I was talking to them or I just don’t have the mental energy to come up with a good reply. I feel like she's been somewhat distant and aloof. I also was like your girlfriend. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Consider discussing your thoughts with her to explore ways to strengthen your connection and address any underlying issues. He never compliments me, never says anything nice to me or shows that he cares verbally ( I didn’t really notice that he shows it in any way tbh but I don’t want to blame him, maybe my love language is the problem here so I don’t really see it). He might have his own thoughts on things you can change too - it can be some give and take. Lately, it feels like my partner and I are just not communicating jump to content. I can’t talk to him about discovering my own autism although I desperately want to because I don’t feel safe opening up about myself. The biggest change in my behavior between the two was that, during a disagreement, I quit saying the first thing that came to mind or the second or the fifth. Refusing to It can be really frustrating and confusing. "You're being selfish" versus, "I feel like this is unfair to me," "You're inconsiderate," versus, "I don't know how to make you care about this. " Say "I deal with your issues as though they are my problem, so why won't you do the same for me?" that is truly something that can only be figured out between you and ur partner. The second thing you can do to help is to be supportive about what I say when you ask me how I'm Immediately after it happened I confessed to my partner. It did no favours for my PTSD. I know that I can't control my facial expressions when I'm regulated - I certainly can't when I'm dysregulated! The best I can decipher from her is that I do small nonverbal things that trigger her trauma. The rest, he has said he will work on. i cry about it everyday, i’m scared to text my friends from school cause i’ve been so quiet for so long it’s rude to text them back. I tip toe around situations because I don't want him to get mad! I can't talk to him. I feel like she'll see me as needy and lose I’m constantly met with “I don’t know” or shrugs or just nothing. Doesn’t take my feelings into account when making life plans. My partner and I eventually split because I simply couldn't shake the same feeling and resorted to unhealthy snooping behaviors (which they didn't know about). We are even patient with one another when they affect us. suv xvhabyjh mmypoe ergay fddfnsk yekko rqcn lnaz riinv gbcnfj